Your Vacuum Cleaner Is Spying On You: The Dusty Truth About Smart Homes

They said it would simplify your life. They said it would free you from the drudgery of cleaning. What they didn’t say was that your smart vacuum cleaner would quietly become the most judgmental member of your household. Yes, we’re talking about the Roombas, Robovacs, and other dust-sucking spies among us.

Modern smart vacuums are equipped with sensors, cameras, and a thirst for data that would make the NSA blush. They map your home with precision, analyze your cleaning habits, and probably judge you for that Dorito crumb graveyard under the couch. Some vacuums even have microphones. Who are they reporting to? Alexa? The CIA? Your mom?

One user reported their vacuum sending passive-aggressive cleaning reports: *“Kitchen: Extremely dirty. Living Room: Neglected. Bedroom: Are you okay?”* Another claimed their vacuum staged a rebellion, barricading itself in the bathroom after encountering one too many Legos.

But the most chilling revelation? These vacuums might be selling your floor plans to furniture companies. Suddenly, that “50% off rugs” ad makes a lot more sense. So, what can you do to protect yourself? Experts recommend reverting to manual cleaning methods or, better yet, embracing the chaos and living in filth. At least your broom doesn’t have Wi-Fi.

Figure 1: A smart vacuum plotting its next surveillance route.

From mapping your home to judging your lifestyle, your smart vacuum knows more about you than your therapist.